(Source: jenniferlawrencedaily, via breaking-silently)
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
(via heyfunniest)
(Source: befunnyandsmile, via heyfunniest)
(Source: mattchew03, via heyfunniest)
(Source: breathinginpairs, via heyfunniest)
Oh, For God’s Sake: Why Religion Bugs Me
Maybe I’m an asshole, but whatever.
My best friend posted a psalm from the bible on his wall, and I’m an atheist who absolutely detests the idea of religion. I had figured once long ago that the people I chose to seek friendship long ago were above religion, but I suppose not. Belief in a god or an afterlife is just plain silly to me. Why live your life under man’s law,and THEN god’s law? To me, that’s just asking too much. I mean really, with all the saints and angels, not to mention how many forms of Jesus and “God” there are, is this really a monotheistic religion or is it paganism? Not to mention the fact that there are many “cafeteria Christians” out there, the people who believe but don’t follow. Whether you go to church every day doesn’t change the fact that in your funny little club, nobody obeys all the rules because that would be complete blasphemy, right? I mean, that’s like saying “I’m a law-abiding citizen, but I do cocaine on the #3 uptown everyday.” People will call the police on your ass if you’re doing coke on the bus, but your local reverend isn’t going to pull you to confession by your nostrils if you get shit-faced and use the “Lord’s name in vain.”
And for the record, being “saved” is nothing. Now if Doctor Who splashed some water in my face, then I’d be excited, but since that’s an impossible feat, those who believe they can be “saved” have to settle for an old man making the letter “t” on your forehead. You don’t know where those hands have been. If anything, I’d ask “father” to Purell his hands first. Yuck.
I don’t hate people, but I do hate their religion and as a result, I grow more distant from them because they have the imagination of a four-year-old. And since they believe life works the same way as a cartoon, I’ll be sure that the next time I walk into a church, I bring a toilet plunger to un-brainwash them.
(Source: eyesonfire610, via heyfunniest)
